Yes Lord Jesus Though I was once blind now I see! So many things so clearly now that I live my life for you and not myself. Judgement was a way of life for me. No forgiveness was found in me. I really never knew how to love. I was never really taught these things as a child. I lived a life of fear in a family broken by alcohol and godlessness. Thank you Father for my grand mother "Nanna" Onita Bowman who had a love for the Lord and would talk with me about Jesus in my youth to give me some knowledge of Him. She read the gospel to me on occasion and I enjoyed it. It felt good to know that someone cared about those poor Jewish people of that day and would help them. A lot of time as a child I felt scared and helpless with everything that went on in my home with my family so I could really relate. When I was eight years old I had a school friend named Chris McKenney. His dad was the cub and boy scout master in town. His dad and mom were devout Christians and went to mid week services and prayer meetings after cub scout meetings on Wednesday nights. I was in scouts so rather than go home to the country on the bus after school Chris' folks asked if I would like to join them at their home for dinner before the meeting and my folks said ok so I did. After the meeting my dad was supposed to pick me up but was late so Mr McKenney called my mom and said they would bring me home after church and not to worry about coming to get me as no one would be there when they came. She said ok. So I went to church for the very first time. Everyone seemed so happy to see each other! And wow they really were happy to meet me! It was fun. I really didn't know the songs but really enjoyed listening. The pastor preached on starting at John 18 with the arresting of Jesus and His restoring the ear of the servant to the chief priest after Peter cut it off. Then Jesus being taken away and eventually tried, beaten, and crucified. I sobbed! I couldn't help it. My grand mother had told me before of these things but never with the boldness of cold hard truth as the pastor had spoke of it! I truly believe the Lord won my heart right then and there for good but I just didn't know and accept to have His full blessing you must live the life by picking up the cross and following Him. This I did not do. At the end of the service the pastor asked if anyone wanted to accept Jesus as their Lord and savior to come forward I nearly ran up there. I heard Mr McKenney chuckle as I zipped past him. They prayed with me and sprinkle poured water over my head to baptize and anointed my forehead with the oil of our Father. Then everyone there hugged me and welcomed me to God's Kingdom family. I got to tell you that was one of the nicest feelings I had ever had. I felt God's love a lot. But once I was back home all that love was gone. Back to the reality that was my life. Parents that didn't love God, or each other enough to stop abusing themselves, each other, or their children. Then I grew up and repeated a lot of the same sinful living of my parents. Finally once I had pretty much ruined my life and lost everything and everyone I loved I heard Jesus' voice speaking in my heart loader and loader! Asking me are you tired of being a loser? Do you enjoy Satan defeating you? Would you like to turn this around before it's too late? So what if some people in your life won't forgive you God will if you ask in MY NAME SAITH THE LORD! I never left you I have just been waiting for you to realize who's side your on. You can't live a life of sin and know ME! You need to pick up your cross and follow me in repentance. He nagged at me thank Him and nagged at me thank the Father in heaven in my heart until I gave in. Thank you Jesus for never giving up on me! My life is free now. I used to think drinking beer and smoking pot set me free. What a bone head! They were just chains of bondage to bind me! I forgive all who have wronged me in any way for I won't have those chains binding me either. And for those that don't want to forgive me read Matthew 7 very carefully, also Matthew 18:21-22. Your very own forgiveness rests in your own hands. As does mine. Heavenly Father please bless those with peace , and forgiveness through the loving grace that can only come from You through the blessing of Your Only Begotten Son Jesus Christ, that might be reached by this writing. In Your Service Lord ,in the name of Jesus...AMEN!!!